Friday, June 23, 2006

Oh Baby...


I am nearly 4 months pregnant.

Since my last post, the succession of events gave me no time to take some breath and digest all the changes to come.

Needless to say, we were very happy with the news. Since C and me decided to have a life together, we'd discussed many times before the possibility of having a kid. I was very aware of the fact that my age was an issue, as I am in my late 30s, and I said to my husband that once the decision is taken we couldn't wait long. I was also concerned about not being able of getting pregnant easily. With my previous partner, the father of my two kids, it really was quite easy. But I had no idea how C and I could work together. Well, seems that we work pretty well, as in a short while, I started to feel the sympthoms.

I do not bear strong sickness during my pregnancies but I do experiment the hormonal turmoil, a sudden lack of energy and an unavoidable sleepness. During the first three months I could not stop yawning not matter how much sleep I had the night before. These inconvenients have a tendency to vanish by the fourth month, and I hope this time won't be different (fingers crossed).

Certain issues according to my new condition have been occupying my mind:

The physical changes of my body.... or how C would react to them.
I don't put that much weight on me but I do develop a big tummy and I've been wondering if he would adapt easily to my new shape. Let's face it... pregnant women do not look exactly "sexy"...
My friend J has an exactly opposite opinion about this, in fact he said that he thinks pregnant women look really sexy and sensual... hmmm maybe he was just trying to say something nice to me? Thank you J, I really appreciate it... but pregnant women "sexy"?????

I do worry about how C could see me, and which would be his attitude. It is his first experience and at the moment, I think he is still overwhelmed by the new situation.

Toxoplasmosis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis#Risk_factors
As you know, we have 4 cats living with us in the house.

My blood tests confirmed that I am negative to the toxoplasmosis virus. That means that I've never been infected with the virus, hence I am not inmune and the risk would be to get the infection when pregnant. I am scared to death about this and I am aware that this issue is affecting a lot my moods and also my relationship with C (as he has a spot for cats).

At the moment, I am trying to deal with this without being too paranoid. However, I can not help being concerned. I have been puting a lot of pressure on me because I feel I have the responsibility to look after my baby's health and eventualy my own. I would like to be fearless but I am not, and even when I've been taking all possible precautions, I've been tortouring myself about the risks we (my baby and I) are at.

My sex drive
Hope it won't change. Even when sometimes I do feel I am not as energetic as usual, or a bit sick, I am always in the mood. I will surely come back to this issue in future posts.